Starless
by Rael74
Summary: Begins immediately post-Starcrushed. Marco grapples with the confessions and farewells from the night of the party. As he struggles to come to terms with these revelations and his best friend's absence, Jackie does her best to support her boyfriend through his emotional rut. But Marco's intense reactions will not be so easily overcome by either of them. Ongoing.


Talking to myself, crying as we part

Knowing as you leave me, I also lose my heart

-George Harrison, _Stuck Inside a Cloud_

Sundown dazzling day, gold through my eyes

But my eyes turned within only see

Starless and bible black

-King Crimson, _Starless_

Marco didn't remember much of the night she left. He had been standing in front of an unfamiliar room, watching the last remnants of a mystical glow fade from view, too stunned to move. At some point he must have went downstairs and returned to the party, but the details were a blur. He vaguely recalled looks of shock, embarrassment, consolation from the party guests, but all of their faces blended together in his memory.

He did remember seeing Jackie. Her expression was burned into his memory. Her usually wide eyes were shrunk with what could only be apprehension, her mouth gaping in a confused strain, struggling to push out words. She looked unspeakably uncomfortable, and her look of unease moved like a wave onto Marco. He didn't remember what exactly he said to her, but he must have told her what he had just seen upstairs; when he saw her the next day, she already knew. He didn't talk to anyone else for the rest of the night.

It didn't take long for the house to clear out and the party to come to a conclusion. Naturally, no one wanted to stick around after what had occurred. Tentative voices of thanks and apologies came from each guest as they exited, but Marco paid little attention. His head was spinning, his surroundings were out of focus, and his mind struggled to piece together the bombardment of revelations from earlier that night.

'I do have a crush on you… I know you don't feel the same way… I have to leave Earth, probably forever…'

Her voice floated through his thoughts, as Marco desperately reached out for the fragments of her farewell confession. The events replayed ad nauseam in his memory. Somehow these words seemed to stop his functioning. Reality was inaccessible until he could just _understand_ those words. Apparently this task lead him to his bedroom. He must have gone upstairs soon after Jackie left, eyes still filled with concern, as she told him they would talk soon. He simply sat on his bed for what must have been hours, mind racing. In his solitude, clearer thoughts were able to emerge.

She had a crush on him…when? How long could she have felt that way? Surely not for some time. She had been pursuing Oskar for months. She had a crush on him. Didn't she?

His stream of consciousness rebooted. She had a crush on him… what did that mean? She wanted to date him? Embrace him? Kiss him? They were best friends…

And she knew he didn't feel the same way. Did he? No, he loved Jackie. So what did he feel for Star? Was she just a friend? A close friend? The closest friend he could ever have hoped for? Pangs of guilt flooded him with these thoughts, which only opened the wound for the next.

She left earth. Forever. Why? What could have happened? Why did she leave him so suddenly? How could she leave? Was it his fault? If he had returned her feelings, could she have stayed?

Marco's eyes ached as they drooped in need of sleep, but his dogged mind kept him from resting. He couldn't stop thinking now. The elusive meaning to the night's events was ever slipping from his grasp. At length, the boy switched off the late and climbed beneath the sheets of his bed, but he didn't bother to change out of his clothes. Pajamas were for slumber, and he would not be allowed sleep for the night.

Her voice continued to ring in his ears, repeating slivers of her farewell in endless variations, hoping to discover some new revelations. Even as Marco's eyelids fell, he resisted losing consciousness. His mind never stopped thinking until the sun had nearly dawned. At last, his fatigued head could take no more, and his troubled mind was permitted a brief reprieve in dreamless sleep.


End file.
